TOOLS FOR MODERN LIVING THROUGH STUPID COMICS
A series of educational lectures designed to aid in comprehending methods of mass communication and facilitation of ideas through the combination of textual representation and graphical images that are stupid.

PART 6-A: "Detecting Subtext In Stupid Comics."
The Christian comics of Al "Jesus Is Just All Right With Me" Hartley have long been lauded for their juxtaposition of simplistic late 70s pop eschatology with the wholesome American icons of Archie Comics. But a closer reading of his work can reveal underlying messages his comics were attempting to reinforce.


In our first example we can see Hartley's intepretation of Christianity to include a wholesale condemnation of smoking, drinking, and playing Magic The Gathering.


Hartley, through soul singer Andrae Crouch, delivers a stirring and completely logical attack on evolution. I mean, who are you going to listen to, some smarty-pants evolutionary biologist who went to some left-wing Eastern liberal college and spent decades in research and peer-reviewed scientific experimentation, or a singer?


Here we see the contempt true Christians hold for worldly, non-spiritual concepts like copyrights and trademarks.


In this panel Hartley is asserting that Christianity is under severe attack from that evil Supreme Court. That's why there are churches on every streetcorner and fakes like Pat Robertson get tax breaks and government handouts - because they're so persecuted. Cry me a river, Al.


Why, I remember back before Darwin came up with that consarned theory of his - children were well behaved and minded their elders and nobody ever caused any trouble ever, and the history of Western civilization wasn't filled with bloody conflict in the name of various versions of Jesus. Not in the slightest, Betty.


Archie appears to be getting some ideas about the filthy books at the trading post. Meanwhile, the cognitive dissonance between "Origin Of Species" and "Hustler" is making my head hurt.


Clearly when they say "God" they mean "drug detecting dogs." Or maybe the drug-detecting dog's name is "God". SPELL IT BACKWARDS, MAN!!!


Yup, that's the solution to all the problems facing America - resculpt the Statue Of Liberty so that she's holding a Bible. Also change that annoying part of the Constitution that prohibits laws favoring any particular religion, and while we're at it, let's put the control of the most powerful nation on Earth in the hands of a small band of intolerant religious fanatics. Because that always works out great!

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