Get ready for some high-flying romance, action, and safety as a psychotic airline pilot comes up against the immovable force of a fickle flight attendant! It's... 10 Seconds to Love!!


OK, breaking speed records I get, but how does one break a safety record? Especially with regards to flying airplanes? Is it a good thing or a bad thing to break a safety record? so many questions.


Normally I'd make fun of this guy for being such a dick, but he's flying an enormous aircraft full of paying passengers who are depending on him to get them from point A to point B, so yeah, I guess breaking safety records is a good thing.



Steve takes his job seriously, but not as seriously as old Mr. Warren here takes his suicide! Yeah that's right... crawling out the porthole of an airplane in midflight. MR. WARREN TOLD YOU HE WAS HARDCORE.

But, not as hardcore as our intrepid heroine, who takes matters into her own hands and yeah, that's right... TURNS THE AIRPLANE ON ITS SIDE, FORCING MR. WARREN AWAY FROM THE WINDOW. That's the way you stop suicides, you namby-pamby liberals who work in hospitals, mental health care facilities, and suicide hotlines. You PHYSICALLY KNOCK THE SUICIDAL PERSON AWAY FROM THEIR MEANS OF SUICIDE. awww, yeah. And it seems nothing turns on Mr. Safety like old Thelma here taking the controls and... doing whatever the hell she was doing.

Anyway, that's why windows on modern airplanes are tiny, glued shut, and made of inpenetrable plastic. Now you know... the rest of the story.


No, wait, here's the rest of the story: Our high-flying couple fall in love, and beat the whole "aviation" thing into the ground as they frolic, dance and make out.


I can see his point. If they're on a flight together, she'll be too busy ignoring Steve and refusing him refills on his tiny glass of soda to ignore the passengers, and refuse them refills on their tiny glasses of soda.

Just kidding. You flight attendants out there are great. I love every one of you, from the bottom of my heart. You're beautiful people. God bless you.



Feeling snubbed by her fiance, Thelma naturally falls into the arms of a blond Jimmy Olsen lookalike, perhaps the result of a fugue state in which she believes she's actually Lois Lane's stewardess sister Lucy. Or maybe she just digs money.


The one thing you definitely don't want to see after breaking up with your pilot fiance is him walking with determination towards the airplane you're going to be flying on. Well, except he's Mr. Safety Record, so what harm could there be?


And what you REALLY don't wanna see when you and your rich new boyfriend are the only passengers is your pilot ex-fiance taking the plane into a nosedive when lover boy gets all kissy-face. But, you kinda expect it. In the back of your mind, you kinda expect it.


Could it be...? Could it be your ex is a sociopath having a temper tantrum several thousand feet in the air, and that your boyfriend is a simpering coward whose hair turns white at the slightest hint of turbulence? Could it be...? Could it be that neither of these greasy lotharios is worth the suits they're crammed into?


No, no, you've got it all wrong! Well, half wrong. The boyfriend is a simpering coward but Steve is all man, who only dicked around with this expensive aircraft to prove a point to his ex about her rich boyfriend. So... okay, not wrong at all, I guess.


But it's all good, because apparently Thelma only has 2 choices in who she can marry, and it's not like she's going with a sissy, no matter how much dough he's got in the bank. And in celebration, Steve and Thelma are gonna have sex in the cockpit while the cuckolded Ronald slowly comes to in the cabin. Steve's gonna break the rules this time-- as opposed to that time just moments before, when he let the plane freefall for ten seconds to prove a point. Just ask any airline safety official, that's totally within the rule book. Hey, I don't make the rules man!

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