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Okay then. Now on with some Stupid Comics.

As stupid comics go this one's in a class of its own, legendary among aficionados not only for its art and its story, but for its artist's dogged determination to forbid any mention of it on the internet. Message boards, social media, blogs; none were safe from the litigious wrath of the all-seeing creator. I myself had the temerity to mention this comic once on my Livejournal and within hours recieved a warning that I needed to remove the offending material or have my entire journal deleted (horrors!)

But here at Stupid Comics we feel the time has come to throw some light on this suppressed gem of comic book singularity, and bring it forth out of the darkness for the whole world to see. Also we've seen some other people mention it on the internets, in places even faster to delete infringing material, so maybe it's safe now. Anyway, here we go!!


Bursting out in all its shiny green glory, these four quadruplets with the chubby cheeks and the mischievous grins are ready to dress identically, to roll their giant eyes in sly malice, and to get pooped on by birds, apparently. Who are these four troublemakers, and what amazing adventures will they have? Let's find out!


Uh oh, tomorrow's the aptitude test at school and they're willing to do whatever it takes to not be seen as dumb. If only certain quadruplet-themed comic books were this concerned about the opinions of others!


Attentive readers will notice the slight change of expression on one of the quadruplet's faces, which, when presented in contrast to the otherwise identically drawn figures, connotes the formation of a sly idea. This is cartooning at its rawest and most powerful. I don't know if you can handle it. You might want to look away for a few minutes.


Their plan to cheat on the aptitude test has succeeded beyond their wildest imagination, and they find themselves surrounded by squiggles, sketchy lines, and a James Thurber character.


Apparently Harvard now awards full scholarships based on how well you do on one test, the answers for which are easily obtained by a small dog. This explains decades of sneering Yalies, I suppose.


Well, even these brilliant "quadrouplettes" realize that Harvard is way beyond their level of cheating and troublemaking. On the other hand these are some 4-year olds apparently interested in sorority parties and college pranks, and those aren't typical 4-year old interests. But let's face it. Harvard would probably want them to wear different clothes or stand around in a non "C-M-S-R" sequence, and that's not gonna happen.

But this Harvard cheating scandal is only one of the exciting exploits set forth in this comic - other thrilling dramas await our four sisters. Many involving how they harrass and abuse their fellow children.


Here in a shocking turn of events a child is glued to her chair. And more importantly, the four sisters have changed position slightly. Alert the media!


As warlords of the schoolyard, these four hell-spawn live only to terrorize and menace their fellow students.


Can a savage four-way beating be passed off as a mere swingset accident? Nurse Jones doesn't think so!


And Harold, identified by his goody-goody halo and the word "HAROLD" emblazoned across his chest, is repaid for his commitment to the truth with a horrific maiming that will likely leave him crippled for life. Ha ha, comedy! Such fun we have with these little girls!

But it isn't all leg-breaking and savage beatings with these kids. There's also candy.


I can't imagine how much profit they'll make from their cardboard-box candy stand, especially when it has to be split four ways. Is there any way to maximize their candy-selling power? Yes there is, but it involves... CANDY MADNESS.


And here in CANDY MADNESS we see the madness erupting out of control as the sisters move their Halloween-disrupted enterprise to the one place desperate for sweets, the "Grovergillp Fat Farm", which apparently has a full enrollment of scribbles and squiggles, hungry for candy. Madness!

But sick violence and grasping avarice aren't the only distinguishing characteristics of these four hellions. No, sometimes they evince a fondness for the finer things in life, like music.


So what comes to mind first in this two-page sequence is the phrase 'Wippy Dew', a unique and fairly nonsensical colloquialism. We're then struck by the fact that it took two whole pages to reach the "I made paper airplanes out of your musical notation" punchline. Take your time, comic! We're just enjoying the ride! The confusing, hateful, un-funny, poorly drawn ride! Which really begs the question, who bought this comic? What retailer took a chance on a non-returnable shipment of this? What customer shelled out his buck-twenty-five (slightly higher in Canada) for this? Was he hoping this would be another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Perhaps that's what was on the creator's mind; after all, these characters were trademarked and everything.


As the trademark was later abandoned, one can only surmise that the expected bonanza of licensing wealth never appeared. The world was denied its racks full of identical violent-quadruplet soft toys, inflatable violent quadruplets, storybooks and animated films starring violent quadruplets. Poor world.

But back to our heroines, forced to slightly change their appearance due to the onset of winter weather.


The process of elimination leads me to conclude that what we're looking at in the last panel is a lawn mower with a shovel attached to it, a makeshift and potentially harmful solution to the snow removal problem. If only someone would invent some sort of gasoline-powered device that was specifically built to remove snow!

So I know what you're asking. Will love ever find these sad, aggressive children?


Yes it will, in the form of what appears to be a propped-up gingerbread man with overalls painted onto his gingerbread body. And yet this drop-dead gorgeous hunk of man wants nothing to do with the "quadrouplettes"! What gives, Skip?


Aw, turns out that the girls aren't smart enough for Skip. They're also brutal and violent, which might not have been readily apparent, but soon would give Skip reason enough to stay far away from the four sisters. You're getting off easy, Skip - at least you can still walk! Pow!

And so we take our leave of these four identical sisters and their little dog and the string of victims left in their wake. Will America see their like again? Will the comic book stores once again suffer under the weight of unsold copies of their comic? Will this Stupid Comics update be deleted under threat of legal action? If you can read these words, our legs are unbroken!

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