Why, yes, we DID just come across a big pile of Christmas ephemera from the early and mid 1960s. And yes, it IS getting close to the holiday season. And yes, these technically aren't comics, so it's a stretch to include them in "Stupid Comics", but you know, hey, they're cartoony illustrations that tell a story, and that's close enough for our purposes, and anyway, it's Christmas, so lighten up you Scrooge.
Okay, that's a nice sentiment, but either that's one gigantic calendar book, or Santa is really really tiny. Maybe that's how he gets down the chimney.
Had enough Christmas music yet? No? Stare at this wrapping paper for awhile.
Snowman eggs? Snowman poop? Take your pick. Either way, this snowman is proud of it.
I think this is one of those crazy sex acts the UK just banned in their porn
Just a mild pastoral scene of sledding, ice skating, and someone's hair being ripped out by the roots. Merry Christmas!
Santa loves nothing more than mean, juicy gossip. The meaner the better
Now this is sweet. Angels singing a lovely song. How beautiful. Let's take a closer look and see what they're singing.
JEEZ THE WRAPPING PAPER IS RICKROLLING US
We like to call this one "Jane Stop This Crazy Thing"
Santa's "JUst For Men" is having the desired effect, and the job's only half done!
"What the hell are we supposed to do with these, our mouths are just little bits of dirt!"
And now the latest top ten hit from Chirpy and Jingly. CHIRP CHIRP JINGLE JANGLE JINGLE CHIRP CHIRP JINGLE JANGLE JINGLE CHIRP CHIRP JINGLE JANGLE JINGLE CHIRP CHIRP JINGLE JANGLE JINGLE CHIRP
Santa's hard at work filling the Defense Department's order for the new X7-99 SkyThunder anti-aircraft missile.
What? You don't buy that? Okay, fine, they're butt plugs. HAPPY NOW?
Here's some great wrapping paper for sensitive, delicate souls with ephemeral, dainty feelings who want the Post Office to fully understand exactly how thoroughly they should crush, mangle, and destroy this item.
And we call this one "My God, What Happened To My Eye, Oh My God"
Hey Dad! Guess what you're getting for Christmas! Go on, guess!
"All I Want For Christmas Is A Clean Shot At That Four-Legged Bastard Who's Been Ruining My Garden." That's what we call this one.
From the little-known Christmas special "Bob, The Smallest, Smuggest Reindeer"
Here's a jolly scene of snowmen going about their snowman business, like driving cars and sledding and running concession stands.
Don't like selling hot dogs and steaming hot coffee? Don't worry Fred, you won't last long. I mean, "it" won't last long. That's what I meant.
This is nothing but cute scenes of cute little angels doing cute little things until you start thinking about how exactly these cute angels got to cute Heaven to begin with, and then you start thinking about child mortality rates. Happy Holidays!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ALL OF US DOWN AT THE PLANT. HOPE YOU GET OUT OF THE EMPHYSEMA WARD SOON.
And lastly here's a charming Night Before Christmas card for you all.
Happy Holidays from all of us here at Mr Kitty! Stay off the drugs and home invasions!
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