The proposed Foster Brooks/Dean Martin legislation of 1966 addressed the issue of teenage alcoholism - it recommended solving the problem of illegal underage drinking once and for all... by lowering the legal drinking age to 14. Suddenly a vast new market would open up to America's beer, wine, and liquor manufacturers, and the police departments of countless cities would have one less category of lawbreaker to deal with. In anticipation of this upcoming legislative bonanza, the teenage comic book producers of America re-tooled their teen comics to reflect society's new attitudes towards drinking. If and when these new laws came into effect, they'd be ready with alcohol-themed teen comics!


First out of the gate with drunk teen comics was Tower, hurriedly re-tooling Tippy Teen and her gang of teenage pals into a gang of DRUNK teenage pals, staggering from sock hop to beach party to formal dance with a constant buzz on.


Beverage producers were quick to capitalize on this upcoming advertising opportunity and purchased product placement whenever and wherever possible on these alco-teen covers.


Soon these comics were openly exhorting teenagers to drink themselves stupid, as evidenced by Go-Go's ridiculous bib overall-bikini ensemble. Go home Go-Go, you're drunk.


Romantic teeners across the nation found their amorous ambitions thwarted by the alcoholic nemesis of make-out sessions everywhere: whiskey-lips.


Tipsy doesn't have a problem. Tipsy can quit ANY TIME SHE WANTS.


The constant spectacle of drunken teenagers making a shambles of their young lives finally reached a crescendo of outrage and Tower abandoned their line of alco-teen comics after Tipsy and the gang, blitzed out of their skulls, plowed their 1962 Pontiac into a McDonalds on the 101. Tipsy Teen joined AA and kicked the bottle and never took another drink, which wasn't too hard once psychedelics became popular. As part of her court-ordered restitution, Tippy did wind up posing for a series of public service announcements.


Kids, remember what Wanda Jackson and Tippy Teen say - they don't think a girl's gotta drink to have fun! Stay off the booze!

PS: April Fools!

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