Hey kids Comics!! We've got more funny books about funny animals, because who doesn't love a funny story about cute talking animals? Last week we had the classic hijinks of Donald Duck and his friends and family, drawn and written by the great Carl Barks. This week we've got...
...a couple of dog girls talking about skinny dipping. OK. I mean, I think the curly-headed one's a dog? Or a lamb?
Also please note: just as the title suggests, you will not SEE any skinny dipping, naked talking animals in this story. It is for talking ONLY. Adjusts your expectations accordingly.
Yes, sexy sexy talk about scent glands. I am wondering what book she saw those pictures in though. Was it porn bought in a sex shop? A biology book in her science class (btw let's just say for the sake of argument these two girls are 18 or over and move on)? A children's picture book about exotic animals featuring whatever animal her boyfriend is? I feel like any answer just brings up more questions!
OK, so it was a children's picture book then? "All About Marsupials", I think it's called.
I'm guessing you're all pretty relieved at this point that this story is just talking with no actual illustrations of animal nudity. Well, MOST of you.
Miss Doggy, that wasn't "for bio". Just say you went to the sex shop and bought porn. It's fine, you're over 18 (I'm assuming). In any case I'm not surprised Jacob Two-Penis gets uncomfortable around the subject of sex since it's apparently interchangeable with the subject of entomology with these girls.
Well, that changed track rapidly. How is it that the funny-animal silkworms and marsupials have weird genitalia consistent with actual non-talking silkworms and marsupials but these dog(?) girls each have two human-shaped boobs? I'm beginning to think this anthropomorphic comic book world hasn't been thought through thoroughly enough!
Yes, looking through holes in gym showers is totally a normal thing normal girls do and isn't creepy or weird in the slightest. Just ask Tina Belcher.
Also: "Seen".
aaaaaaand we're back to "Let's Learn About the Animal World".
YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CHANGE THE SUBJECT
Crap. Look, is it too late to get back to entomology?
Also, this is a totally normal thing normal girls ask their best friend/sister.
"I've been thinking about it ever since that night Speedo and I had pizza at the apartment" is obviously code for something terrible, as per the Podesta e-mails. Let's get our best team of code-cracking paranoid schizophrenics working on this one!
"You know how much that turns me on" is something I definitely say in normal conversation with my friends. It's hard to convey the tildes around "~hardness~" in spoken word, though. Much easier to just say "and then we dry-humped for a while".
Like I mean, I don't wanna come out and say this conversation has all the versimilitude of a letter to Penthouse Forum but we're one "needless to say I was aroused" away from a bingo here.
OK, so you ARE 18 or over. That's all I really ask. I gotta say, becoming a woman may be a bit tricky for you. You have the correct number of breasts though, so that's something. Get a nose job and make your ears less floppy and you'll probably be fine. Really, you're more woman than dog as it is.
Nothing like talking about birth control while doing some "just friends" hugging with your lamb (or poodle) BFF.
Poodle! She's a poodle, folks. Not a lamb, a poodle.
FUN FACT: Koalas really do smell like eucalyptus. I guess this was a science textbook after all! Thus concludes today's class! Be sure to read chapters 32 through 37 because there's a quiz on Monday!
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