It's Christmas, a time of year that means many things to many people. Family. Gifts. Lights. Gatherings. And for some, it means time to join friends and neighbors and engage in violent, desperate battle.
If you've built a trench mortar for your snowball fight, you might be overthinking the whole thing - but if you're Edison Bell, you're a boy inventor, and therefore can't NOT overthink things.
Sure they surrender; you had a snowball launcher! Now let's get into the Rocket Sled and go challenge *every* neighborhood to snowball fights.
Jerry can't guess what they're doing? It's Christmas! Edison has a side job as an Amazon delivery guy, of course. Delivering hopper type feeders for all you wild party animals.
Nothing says "Christmas" like dropping in unannounced on woodland hermits, I guess. They love visitors and company! That's why they're hermits!
Hey you animals, starving to death doesn't give you the right to vandalize the forest!
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Rule one is, do NOT mention hermitting around the hermit.
And now let's take a nature break!
Oh really? You want me to feed those little tree rats that will literally gnaw their way into my kitchen to eat the peanut butter I foolishly didn't screw the lid back on? Seems to me squirrels are doing all right for themselves.
King Robinson doesn't need your boards or sacks. King Robinson has everything he needs right here on his island. Except whiskey. Got any?
Seems like everybody's been so focused on shooting our little friends the Germans and Japanese, we've neglected to shoot our quota of our little friends the deer and rabbits!
Makes you feel good, doesn't it. Now hand me that rifle
So there's a highway on that hermit island? I guess the definition of "hermit" has kinda slipped over the years. Keep 'em nice and fat, says the guys who are totally not going to be blasting away at that game!
If YOU want to attract some game, here are some feeding shelters you can build that are sure to draw birds and ground animals! If you want to attract teenagers, replace corn with packs of cigarettes and three year old "Playboy" magazines.
The traditional campsite Christmas weenie roast is interrupted by the traditional New Years Eve gunfire. Just... just shoot at the ground, fellas. Please
Will Jerry survive the shotgun blast? Was it silly to bring a snowball to a gun fight? Are they actually worms? We'll be back after these messages!
If you want your own Christmas camp to roast your own weenies, here's everything you need, including trees with ten foot crotches and evergreen twigs that have been extremely carefully trimmed. Remember to build a heat reflector for your fire out of logs... those logs will catch on fire too, and that's just extra heat!
Wow, that dude's shotgun backfired right in his face! He's probably horrifically mangled. Keep those gun barrels clear, kids!
Follow the stench of the skunks, follow the trail of blood and face parts, they should be easy to find.
Tied up all night, concussed from a shotgun blowback, stinking of skunk... maybe you should have peeled off a couple of fifties instead of trying to shoot some kid, buddy. Now for a fun plane ride.
Remember these were the days before Miranda rights, when you had the right to be smacked around by a forest ranger if you didn't start squealin'. Now let's have it, chum, tell us everything about how to make a flat top feeding shelter!
forget the garbage cans, Ma, we'll just throw our litter onto the flat top feeding shelter! Says so right in the instructions!
That guy flipped easy. I guess the implied threat of smacking your skull on the door of the airplane as they throw you out at two thousand feet is quite an incentive to turn State's Evidence. Not that the rangers would do that. "Hunting accident" is more their style.
Man, that got dark. Let's go trim that Christmas tree!
Maybe we can't all take our rocket sleds out into the woods to feed the hungry animals, but we can all help our wildlife friends this winter. If you're cold, they're cold, so why not let that shivering moose or bobcat warm up in your family room for a little while? It's Christmas, after all! Happy holidays, everybody!
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