As we move our frail human bodies through an increasingly mechanized world, we begin to realize exactly how powerless flesh and bone are against the cold steel and harsh concrete that underpin our civilization, and how unrelenting the forces of acceleration and gravity are that hold us all in their grip. It's to this end that the good people at Cities Service set forth guidelines for our safety and comfort, explained, as befits these serious topics, by a cartoon beaver.


We've visited with these beavers before but here these mascots of what would later become Citgo have branched out into the games and activities field, all designed to quiet down those kids currently grab-assing in the back seat of your enormous Impala station wagon.


Sure, you might think "we paid good money for this comic book and now we have to help draw it?" But you'd be wrong. This comic was free! Now stay out of mischief.


Uh oh, looks like somebody didn't want to help those twins cross the street safely by coloring the words in correctly. Maybe somebody owns a golf course and is frustrated with the beavers flooding the greens with their dams? Too bad sucker, them beavers was here first!


Instead of using your crayon to color the tree brown and green, why not use your... phone to call the power company to come repair this deadly hazard?


This comic has a lot going on but I do love the flat, abstract shapes of those trees. I don't have a joke here. I just like 'em!


The paint job will be finished today, as soon as our unpaid labor force of "children with crayons" gets their lazy butts to work!


Now remember kids, stay out of mischief here in this gas station, which is filled with flammable chemicals, power tools, oils and greases, compressed air, and the occasional unattended automobile.


The simple fun of climbing into somebody's car and releasing the parking brake, sending the vehicle rolling uncontrollably downhill, is a joy our pampered, screen-addicted children of today will never know. And thank goodness for that!


Those boys should have resisted the impulse to fiddle with the absolute wonderland of amazing stuff they were left surrounded by and unsupervised? Come on, buddy. They're CHILDREN. This one's on you, Eager Inattentive Beaver.


I don't want to say I detect an ulterior motive in a gas station promotional comic giving us a story about how dangerous bicycles are, but let's face it: this is a safety comic that never once mentions "seat belts."


Those crazy bicycles are uncontrollable death traps sent from Hell to confuse innocent drivers and destroy lovely flowers! At least, that's the message I'm getting here.


Well, let's see, he smashed into a big poster and now it looks like his face is on the pretty lady's body. All we need is for him to slam into a fruit stand and we'll have covered all the Runaway Vehicle Comedy bases!


And there you have it, a comedy home run. Bonus sandwich advertising board destruction!


"I wish I'd never asked about bicycles in the first place! Mostly because they don't use gasoline!"


Well, it's Eager Beaver's day off and that means it's time to pick some jobs out of the Honey Do jar and get to work around the house. He's not going to take off his cap, though, he's a company man through and through.


Blame the kids for leaving a football in the yard? Maybe blame yourself for carrying a load and not watching where you put your feet, dummy!


You know what's really safe, is calling a professional to get up on your roof and do whatever it is needs doing up there. But this comic is put out by a gas station, not a contractor, so up you go Eager Beaver!


This so-called "beaver" has forgotten his sharp claws which would allow him to grip the siding and safely descend, or his mighty incisors that would allow him to just gnaw through the wall of his house to safety.


You kids had better go and play safely in the safest place he can think of, the, uh, vacant lot. Better than the railroad tracks or the quarry, I guess.


Remember kids, only climb heavily-inked trees. Trees without strong ink outlines are unsafe!


Oh boy, barbecued cement!


This entire situation was deliberately contrived to allow this comic to deliver the message that hitching rides in the back of dump trucks is unsafe, which leads me to conclude (a) that dump-truck hitching was a lot more widespread than I'd previously imagined, and (b) we're lucky any midcentury children survived at all.


Leave the skilled labor of veteran craftsmen to your accident-prone kids, Eager Beaver, and take that nap! You've earned it.

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