Note: The Stupid Comics you are about to see are products of their time. They may - and do - depict some of the ethnic and racial prejudices that were commonplace in American society. These depictions were wrong then and they are wrong today. These Stupid Comics are being presented as they were originally created because to do otherwise would be the same as claiming these prejudices never existed. And also, because to do otherwise would deprive us of something to make fun of. And now, on with our presentation.
Some people say you can't learn anything from comics. And those people are right! Comic books, being mass-produced disposable entertainment for television-deprived children and adult weirdos, can't be expected to deliver anything but the vaguest approximation of actual knowledge concerning the real world and its inhabitants. For example, let's take a look at Air Fighters #2 from 1942 and see what wisdom it seeks to impart about the world and its people and cultures, at a time in history when already ignorant attitudes were amplified to an alarming degree by, you know, one of those world wars the 20th century was so big on.
We learn here that the Japanese produce daring combat aces that pilot some of the most advanced fighter aircraft in the world, yet have not mastered the use of prepositions.
Here we see even Japanese ace pilots want to be able to say a specific number so that they can then say "nice."
It's not all bad, though, because it turns out Japanese ace fighter pilots are chivalrous opponents who want nothing more than a fair "dual."
The Germanic peoples, on the other hand, are all business, surviving horrifying air disasters and converting their bodies into half-steel hate machines, who still care enough to accessorize their fashion with a monocle.
Let's be clear. This comic isn't saying ALL Japanese people are gorilla-like musclemen with vampire fangs, torture fetishes, and circus strongman tights. Maybe this guy is just an outlier!
One thing's for sure, these Germans are a hit with the ladies.
Just one more example of how gatekeeping is ruining the torture hobby for so many newcomers!
The English? They're ageist. The Polish peoples bravely struggle through their various disfigurements. The Cockneys are cocky. And the Sky Wolves from Skywolfistan? They're all daring squadron leaders.
You'd think the thick skull of the Pole would be an impediment to communication - but you'd be wrong! Sure, just rap on your cranium to send messages, that's a safe and non-distracting thing to do while piloting an airplane, tapped nobody ever.
The Germanic peoples, we learn here, are deathly afraid of rodents.
Detachable Head Syndrome is a notable condition that affects many Asians - and people of any ethnicity- who somehow get their heads jammed into their own guillotines.
Amongst the peoples of Germany, Swabians and Thuringians are statistically the most likely to be afflicted with condition known as dyslexia, which manifests sometimes as letters, symbols or entire costume emblems depicted backwards. (I am just making this up, stay cool Swabia)
One fascinating aspect about espionage in World War Two is how easy it was to just telephone your intelligence from Occupied France to England. Just dial direct and save! Look out for the Gestapo on the switchboard, though. (seriously, let me look this up, direct calls between London and Paris began in 1963, so this comic book is merely a couple of decades off)
Somehow the Black Angel hides a full body black catsuit underneath a low cut knee length dress. Just one of the mysteries of wartime!
"So Black Angel, we meet again! No, I haven't fixed that swastika yet! Anyway, this direction means "good luck" in some cultures! So there!"
Is there really that big of a difference in genotype and phenotype between English and German women? The back and forth of northern European tribal migrations over the millennia says "probably not." I will say this scheme of the Baroness of Blood is an awful lot of work just so some U-boat captain can take all the credit.
Here we see a fine specimen of the "Middle European" man with all his distinctive characteristics on display. Prematurely bald. Stocky of build. And horny.
And here, the typical Frenchman; surly, vengeful, always ready for a chance to strike back at those whom he believes have done him wrong. Six months earlier, six years later, and he'd be turning this English agent in. But today? Today things are fine.
All Frenchmen die hollering VIVE LA FRANCE. It's a scientific fact!
The acutely perceptive German woman is quick to note even the subtlest change in her environment. Like, you know, the fuselage of her Bf 109 riddled with tracer.
If we may shift focus back to Asia, we'll note the peculiar characteristics of the Japanese and their inability to distinquish between power tools and automatic weapons.
But what of another Asiatic community, the people of China? How do they differ from their... holy cow, what even IS this? Come ON America, the Chinese are supposed to be our ALLIES here, is THIS how you want to show them we're all on the same team? With a comedy Chinese laundryman?
Wun Wing Spin is heading for Japan about sixty years too soon to enjoy the peak Japanese tourist experience. Which is, of course, a maid cafe, a cat cafe, a cafe with women in futuristic maid outfits riding giantic robot scooters, and three guys dressed in Halloween ninja costumes handing you Hello Kitty Kit-Kats before you board your flight home at Narita. Look, I'm just saying they know what people are there for.
It's not often you see fifteen hundred years of complex relations between two Asian nations expressed in a way that suggests everyone involved was high as kites.
I'm pretty sure right this moment in the Kabukicho red-light district some stressed-out salaryman is re-enacting this exact scenario, right down to the diaper and talcum powder.
Well, that's it for now. Thank god. Remember, these comics have been presented exactly as they were originally created, because to do otherwise would be the same as claiming these comics never existed. And sometimes that almost seems like a pleasant idea. See you next time, Goom-Bye Please!
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