The parade of wacky-yet-repetetive DC 70s horror comics continues! This week we'll take a look at what happens when an art director uses the same sketch to plan out a dozen different covers. Hey, they had to pump this stuff out! Besides, who doesn't like pictures of clueless individuals being beckoned through doorways behind which lurk FEAR??


NOOOOO MR. BESPECTACLED SALARYMAN!! DO NOT GO IN THERE! THE NEW NEIGHBOURS ARE DYING TO TAKE YOU TO HOT TOPIC AND MAKE YOU LISTEN TO NINE INCH NAILS!!!
No seriously, get it? DYING to meet you! And they're uh, sort of pale! Like a dead person. Only, not... dead.


I hope you liked that last pun, because here it is again! Guys, take it from me, Mister Kitty-- if a sexy blonde ever beckons you to go through a door because someone is DYING to meet you... don't.
Oh, who am I kidding. Look at the birthin' hips on that gal! So what if her parents are skeletons (apparently taking a break from driving a bus or a house attached to a car)? That guy sure doesn't care. "Sure, sure, honey, skeletons, whatever, let me give you a nice hot-oil body massage".


Yeah, if your teenage son is bringing home some "new friend" calling himself "Uncle Harry" there probably IS something sinister about him. This cover looks like it's leading to A Very Special Witching Hour, all about how you shouldn't let horny older men into your darkened bedroom.
HORNY! Oh my.


The cover so nice they used it twice! Not exactly the same but pretty close, anyway. This really asks more questions than it answers-- why would a kid bring home his new school teacher? Why is there a latch on an interior door in their house? And why does that cat look so FUBAR? The only thing I can make out is that Orville's NEW SCHOOL TEACHER has come up with a cunning way to disguise porn by putting a fake "Arts of Witchcraft and Sorcery" cover over his issues of OUI and JUGS.


Thanks for the exposition, Mom! I wouldn't have known this was my first day at my new school if you hadn't shouted it out the window as you were speeding away for your morning cocktail party! Of course if you were sober you might have noticed this is a SCHOOL FOR GHOSTS WITH A SKELETON TEACHER AND A WITCH WHO IS A... uh... I don't know, Teacher's Assistant or something. Maybe the janitor?


"He's DYING to meet... no wait."

Why do all these houses have windowless, pitch-black rooms with a single easy chair just out of the eyeline of the entry way?


Sheesh, Santa, have some milk and cookies.

This doesn't seem like a very good set-up for a department store Santa. The kids will just trip over the toys, and it'll be too dark for them to see that Santa's a skeleton so they won't even know to get scared. And isn't children running crying from a terrifying Skeleton Santa what Christmas is all about?


"I'm DYING to kill you, stuff you, dress you in a purple suit, and mount you inside a glass case!"

Y'know, buddy, if you can't recognize you're inside yet another "Most Dangerous Game" rip-off, you deserve your fate. I'm just sayin'.

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