Hey gang! Did YOU get a new computer for Christmas? You didn't? Well, maybe it's because the computer companies just weren't working hard enough to sell your mom and dad and your teachers at school on exactly how powerful and useful today's personal computers are. Maybe it's because you didn't have Superman and Supergirl and Radio Shack and the TRS-80 Computer Whiz Kids on your side!


It's time for another exciting, BASIC-computer-language filled adventure with everyone's favorite sixth-grade wonders, their Radio Shack brand TRS-80 Color Computers, their super-powered pals, and the advertising and marketing department at the Tandy Corporation. So insert your progam disk, wait for the prompt, type "go," and we'll begin!


"So long, here's my cousin to tell you all about the incredibe world of microcomputers" is coincidentally what I said when I left the family reunion just as my cousin was about to start boring everybody with the details of whatever new expensive useless gadget he'd bought, some sort of wi-fi enabled blockchain smart appliance NFT kind of thing, I think.


Students in a certain elementary school certainly had reason to be concerned about whooshing noises coming from two different directions. There's no way the school board approved the budget for TWO custodians and TWO floor buffing machines!


Shanna and Alec, the Radio Shack TRS-80 Computer Whiz Kids, exchange knowing looks. The school might be able to handle one cherry bomb in a toilet - but two? At the same time? Their plan is foolproof!


Oh, it's just Superman and "Whoosh #2" Supergirl, politely opening the windows instead of smashing through the walls. Very considerate.


Remember our last adventure when we used the TRS-80 MICROCOMPUTERS available at your local RADIO SHACK to defeat master criminals? Mindy was absent that day, she was helping Wonder Woman and Batman defeat Sinestro and Mr. Freeze using Rubbermaid brand househould products. But that's a completely different promotional comic.


This time our super friends didn't bring along giant boxy computers that were hilariously underpowered by today's standards - they brought along TINY computers, also hilarously underpowered by today's standards.


Why this oversized calculator can handle the less stressful tasks of a full size TRS-80! Which is to say, exceedingly basic BASIC programs applicable to pretty much nothing. Also, codebreaking the secret messages of Hitler's Kriegsmarine, if that second panel can be believed.


Great Krypton, Superman has spotted some sort of catastrophic disaster that needs his urgent assistance! He's going to have to leave this amazingly fascinating sales demonstration at once! (Thank you, catastrophic disaster!)


Superman wouldn't have left in such a terrific hurry unless he had an awfully good reason. Boredom, for instance.


Looks like Ms. Wilson and Supergirl are bonding a little over their shared educational experience! Supergirl is even sharing some personal deets. Settle down there Kara, aren't you supposed to be dating Brainiac 5 in the 30th century?


Even though master criminal Lex Luthor is locked away in solitary escape-proof confinement, somehow the prison administration feels the need to broadcast his every pronouncement over the airwaves. You're listening to WJAIL, the radio station that plays the hits, hits defined as "whatever the felons want us to broadcast."


Uh oh, this is obviously some sort of evil Lex Luthor plot. Maybe they should just... not play along? Could you just do that for once?


Now we're going to learn how easy it is to use the Information Retrieval Service with the TRS-80! Provided, of course, you have taken the Telephone Interface II out of the DR-99 Drawer, brought your Bell 45-TB telephone across the room along with the attached 878B cable and placed it securely upon your XB-70 model Desk.


They're using the "break" key?! I've been seeing the "break" key on computer keyboards my entire life and this is the first time anyone ever has ever used that button for anything! This is awesome!


Dial the information service number, place the receiver onto the Interface II modem cradle, type in your ID number and your password, holler at everybody else in the house to not pick up the phone, and now you're ready for your Color Computer to become a Color Two-Way Information Retrieval System.


Play chess with rivals thousands of miles away, get national weather reports, stock market data, current news, send emails! Why, it's almost as useful as being able to change the course of mighty rivers and bend steel with your bare hands or blast things with heat vision or fly so fast you go back in time. Almost.


Look how easy it was to get news from a computer information service in the 80s! Of course, this was before desktop notifications, unskippable video ads, and paywalls. You know, the good old days!


Superman has been battling Lex Luthor for decades and the Daily Planet only has... three stories about it? Get to filing some bylines, Clark!


So it took the Whiz Kids and Supergirl roughly the same amount of time to look up the same three articles. This definitely proves... that the Daily Planet's archives are crap.


It's the big surprise! That great museum you kids have been bugging your parents about for months and months! You know today's sixth-graders, they live for museums.


Supergirl's super-vision is picking up dangerous microwaves that might interfere with aircraft navigation systems! This is a job for... the Federal Communications Commission! Or maybe the Federal Aviation Authority! Either one will do.


I've never seen a yellow solar panel, but then again I've never seen a flying blonde in hot pants, either.


A diabolical trap that turned a passive solar receiver into a solar energy transmitter! And as we all know, Super-people lose their powers under the rays of a yellow sun, or under the influence of various kinds of Kryptonite, or whenever the plot requires it.


Meanwhile back at the museum, let's have a big round of applause for... a picture of some inventors. I get it, you're the people that clap at movies, right?


It's ironic. In order to demonstrate the tiny size of that silicon chip, the museum had to build a gigantic version of it. Also a gigantic sewing needle for it to pass through the eye of, because science has shown that the best way to measure something's size is in comparison to various sewing implements. I don't make the rules! Now go get inside this giant thimble.


It looks like a set from Star Wars! But which set? The one inspired by the Kurosawa film, or the one inspired by the Nazi propaganda film?


Sure, it's like that scene in Star Wars, if there was a scene where Darth Vader and C3PO wandered around a giant mockup of a Radio Shack computer. Maybe that part's in the extended cut.


The math/logic unit executes critical programming instructions, the control unit decodes instructions, and Freddy down there with the camera is taking upskir---CUT THAT OUT Freddy!


This is an exact giant sized replica of your computer back in the classroom! Be careful - the "dust" and "crumbs" underneath the giant keyboard "keys" are actually fist size rocks! So maybe give that thing a cleaning when you get back.


Whilst our Whiz Kids are whizzing through the Enchanted World Of Tandy Electronics, Superman starts to worry that Supergirl might be missing out on all the fun of a giant-sized TRS-80. All that fun!


If only there was some way a normal non-super powered person could find their way out of a locked room in a suburban home. But you know suburban homes, full of particle board, sheet rock, and plywood paneling! It's like Fort Knox in there!


Well, she isn't a super-lockpicker, that's for sure. Maybe she should watch one of those Tiktok videos where some twelve year old picks thirty locks in thirty seconds, you know, just to feel extra secure about everything.


In any ordinary situation we might be tempted to use the telephone to call for help from the outside world. Well, let me ask you something, is this comic book sponsored by the telephone company? No. No it isn't! So let's warm up that TRS-80 Color Computer!


Of course she COULD call the police, say she's been kidnapped, have them trace the call, show up with the riot squad. But let's let some sixth-graders do the job instead!


I thought you had to use the TRS-80 Videotex Terminal WITH the Telephone Interface II to retrieve information, but apparently the Videotex Terminal - a completely separate Radio Shack product designed specifically for use as an information retrieval device - does NOT require the Telephone Interface II. I'd better use some of that big 4K of TRS-80 color computer memory to remind myself of that fact!


Well now we know where Supergirl is being held prisoner. Let's call Supergirl and tell her we know where she's being held prisoner. She'll be delighted to know the exact street address.


This is definitely a job for Superman! Or, again, the county sheriff. Whichever.


With the information provided by the Whiz Kids, Supergirl was able to read an entire news story about the Purple Palace which included the detail that there was a secret escape tunnel in the game room! Sure, maybe she might have found it on her own, but the important thing is that the TRS-80 Color Computer gave her that crucial access to a vital news story that just happened to mention a trivial architectural detail.


It's pleasing to see these criminals are finally learning to not even bother shooting at Superman, to say nothing of tugging on his cape.


And after a quick stop to rub failure in Luthor's face - failure "he have years" to wonder about - it's back to school to complete certain Radio Shack-related promotional obligations.


If your idea of a sensational super-team includes two-way information retrieval, "Scriptsit" word processing and executing BASIC programs, well, you are aiming pretty low.


Let's prepare for tomorrow, tomorrow being when we head over to the mall and shell out four hundred big ones for the TRS-80, another four bills for the TV, and fifty bucks for a pair of joysticks so you and Junior can play whatever fakey version of Pac-Man Radio Shack has cobbled together. "Scarfman", that's what it was called! Enjoy your "Scarfman," kids.

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