If we have one piece of advice for those dreaming of publishing their very own comic books, it's don't. Just don't. The world is choking on derivative, amateur comics that all got printed, distributed and racked in America's long-suffering comic shops. But if you are bound and determined to offer your personal vision up for sale to the general public, well, right out of the gate the first thing you need to do is come up with a unique, distinctive title for your comic book that will make your concept instantly recognizable as a singular thing that can't be confused with any other object or idea.


Or you could just call it "Night." Good luck on your search engine optimization with that one, fellas! And what a "Night" it is, huh? This 2004 comic is either some kind of really wild alternate-universe Office fanfic starring Dwight and Angela, or the damndest Elie Wiesel adaptation anyone ever saw.


New York City, a town where the death toll from the never-ending gang warfare reaches new highs. Sounds like somebody's last trip to NYC was really a trip to the movie theater to see the Walter Hill film "Warriors!" Anyway, it looks like the moon is about to crash into the Earth, which is probably a blessing for all concerned, including the police that have come to fear "blackness." Draw your own conclusions about *that*.


"Worst thing you've ever seen" is a helluva thing for a NYC cop to say three years after 9/11.


Just cast your Precious Moments peepers on that Federal Bureau Of Investigations badge, Chief Little!

Yes. Federal Bureau Of Investigations, plural. It's like the regular FBI, just better.


I don't know what the chief should do first - find a lawyer to tell him if the FBI has jurisdiction in local cases, or find a doctor to tell him what exactly is wrong with more or less his entire body.


Say buddy, it's not barbershop if all four of us don't cooperate, so open that mouth and sing!


Chicago! Night gripping the city in a clenching fist of blackness which offers only death! Now personally my last trip to Chicago was around this time, and we spent much of one night wandering drunkenly around the Loop downtown trying to find the Blue Line train back to Rosemont. And we all got there safely. But obviously this comic needs America's cities to be violence-filled nightmares, so fine, we all died horribly. Happy now?


I can believe in cities racked with gang-related massacres that may or may not involve werewolves. But a man who wants to stop and ask for directions? That one really strains the old credulity!


The crowbar-wielding Dark Elves of Chicagoland claim another car window.


Oh, it's just this Chicago street gang, engaging in the time-honored traditional activities of smashing windows and demanding money. They COULD have stolen the car, I guess, but let's not get this narrative any closer to reality than it has to be.


"Hey guys, check it out, there in front of that comic shop that has the same name as the comic shop that published this comic we're starring in right now! I hope he's a rich fanboy that can finance the publication of a black and white comic about werewolves and gangs!"

Seriously though, I'm glad to see these gang members are at least safety-minded enough to promote the poison control mascot Mr. Yuk.


Americans normally read left to right, except when Americans are inept at comic book storytelling, at which point Americans have to redirect the reader through the use of clumsy and intrusive directional arrows, basically a flashing sign that says "we're bad at this."


The Moe haircut! Definitely a fashion choice made by murderous gang members across the land, and not just a last minute decision by an artist who couldn't think of what to do with this particular character and happened to glance over at the "Three Stooges" episode currently playing on the TV.


A little known fact about the 1981 horror-comedy film AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON; it was released in some markets with the alternate title HE TRIPPIN'.


Werewolves are known for their brute strength, their crazed, animalistic ferocity, and their extreme sarcasm.


Glad to see this comic book is keeping up with the comic book tradition of somebody getting shanked with something sharp enough to penetrate the sinews, muscles, and bones of an entire chest cavity, and yet will not go through a shirt.


Telling somebody you knifed "we didn't mean you no harm," well, I don't think that is ever going to work. Let me know if it does the next time you knife a werewolf!


The sun rises a few hours later, and the kid that's been in this alley staring at a sleeping former werewolf for a few hours finally gets up the courage to take three steps over and see if he has any money.


"Hey! Let's get out of here because suddenly it's urgent we get out of here right away, even though we've both been here in this alley for hours!"


The threat of adoption by Chicago street gangs has reached epidemic proportions. No drifter is safe!


Dinner, a movie, late night coffee, a walk in the park - he really showed those phreaks a good time!


Effective urban gang leaders must have a commanding personality, the tightest clothes possible, and the ability to dislocate one or both shoulders at will.


Inner-city gang hangout? Set of the "Wayne's World" public access TV show? Maybe both. This IS supposed to be Illinois.


Meanwhile Sabrina the regular adult FBI(s) agent is journalling her way through this difficult time.


The FBI! We don't have to knock any more!


Oh how nice, that passing car is displaying the long, verdant leaves and beautiful flowers of their gardening show contest-winning - no, wait, those are supposed to be muzzle flashes from gun shots? Really?


Well, it's good to know that the barely-in-control werewolf man, who has already brutally dismembered literally dozens of people in the course of a few days, is saying "no" to drugs. Because he doesn't want to get into trouble. This only makes me wonder what his definition of "trouble" is.


Look, it's hard out there being a drug dealer. People simply do not want addictive narcotics, they have to be tricked into getting high.


Sad Tupac is concerned about the well-being of his skinny white friend. If you're so concerned maybe don't bring him to a gang fight?


Let's see. Cyberpunk Joker, somebody from Mortal Kombat, the lead character from the Joe Dante film "Small Soldiers," Mirrorshades Roid Rasta, Dollar Store Danny Trejo, The Angry Buddha, and The Three Sisters Of Regrettable Hairstyle. Those are definitely some freaks.


Beginner comic artists seem to have no fear in borrowing, tracing, and swiping from their more experienced peers - and there's no shame in that, swiping is how we learn - but it's just too bad they can't swipe how NOT to do something - namely, this top-down view panel, a panel that never ever works and yet we see all the time. I did it myself. Maybe we all have to go through it to get past it.


Twelve minutes later after the shooting's stopped, the riot police show up. They're no fools! Can't get shot if the shooting's all over!


Law enforcement investigates the scene of a gang-related slaughter and they focus on the one guy that DIDN'T do any shooting? I'm beginning to see why gang warfare rules the night gripping cities in clenching fists of blackness!


That's some good forty-four caliber trigger discipline there, FB Investigations lady.


I guess it's the drugs kicking in but it sure looks like that !!RRRAAAEEEY is backwards. Must be the drugs. Don't do drugs, kids. Also, stay out of the cities, don't ask for directions, steer clear of gangs, make sure no one spikes your soda, carry a .44 Smith & Wesson at all times for those werewolves, make sure you end your comic book on a "the end" or a "to be continued," and always, always avoid those top-down view panels!

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