Today we sneak into someone's pink-walled bedroom and slyly lift the delicate, lacey pillow upon the canopied bed to take a peek into the Sweetheart Diary, where we learn the shocking secrets of... running a supermarket?


Ignoring her miserly attitude for a moment, let's just think about the paperwork nightmare that involves handing over ownership of a business to two people who are not yet married, but are kind-of sort-of planning to be, and also have apparently received the business as a gift. Brrrrr! Is this a romance comic or a horror comic?


OK, back to her miserly attitude. Yikes, what a miser. That's good, right?


I imagine there's a story in another issue where a couple owns a business and the woman is the one who's free-spending and wants to have fun, but by the end of the story learns her lesson about the importance of saving. Where do you think this story is heading?


Look, she's so enraged she's confused her own name with Lila the stock girl's! I've been pretty mad in my lifetime but never "call someone else by my own name" mad. I guess that's how we know who's really at fault here!


Portrait of a Man Slowly Checking Out - artist unknown, 1953, Fawcett Publications


"What about? Oh, just normal stuff, definitely not going to ream you out over making a terrible decision unilaterally because you're too cheap to rent shopping carts"


Just kidding, it's 100% about that!


I MEAN... they don't NOT come into a store if it has shopping carts!


This guy just lacks vision! Signs hastily scribbled on paper bags with a marker would become the greatest marketing trend of the 1950s! Why there was a whole story arc on Mad Men. Don Draper strode confidently into the conference room of Sterling Cooper and made his pitch to the client. "Gentlemen... I give you the future of sign-making" he said, pulling out some scraps of paper little Sally and Bobby had scribbled on the night before. Sure, he was drunk the whole time but the point is those clients were blown away by his persuasive presentation! The Scraps of Paper Manufacturing Company was never the same afterward.


Honey, if that's how your hair looks when you do it yourself... I'd go to the beauty parlor. OOOH GIRL


Well, there's your trouble right there- next time you go bowling, try tossing a bowling ball insead of money. No wonder she's not having fun.


On the one hand antagonizing the boss who all ready hates you by going out with your other boss, who she's engaged to, seems like a terrible idea. But on the other hand it's not like there aren't other stock girl jobs out there so it might be worth it to watch the fireworks! Too bad this isn't being told from Lila's diary, I bet it's a real barn burner.


Hard agree with Alice here-- the worst experience in shopping is being stuck in line with a chatty cashier and a bored, lonely retiree.


Jerry's finally had it with Alice, which I feel like was probably obvious by the fact that he was dating Lila exclusively by this point, and leaves the store to her. Again, the paperwork nightmare that this would entail gives me a headache. It's got Alice so upset she's red in the face!


Lila tendered her resignation from a bar 200 miles away, no doubt relieved to be free of the Bickersons and their crumbling grocery empire.

Sure, those factory girls can wear new hats and dresses, they don't have a business to worry about! Maybe Alice can make a new hat out of an old paper bag or something.


No shit? You'd think customers would be thanking Alice for the opportunity to build their upper arm strength by lugging all their unpaid-for groceries around the store. Why, next you'll be saying Walgreens is making a mistake locking up everything in glass cabinets!


No, Alice! Don't let the haters bully you into thinking like every other store owner!! Loyal customers refusing to return means you should only double down harder on your decisions! Stop bagging their groceries, those bags cost a fortune! Turn off the lights, it's more exciting to guess if the carton you've grabbed is 2% milk or eggnog!! NAIL ALL THE PRODUCTS TO THE CEILING!!!!!


Whoa, she's going all out! Beauty salon? Green shirt over purple dress? SOUTHERN BELLE SUNBONNET? Baby, we are so back!!


Shopping carts? Professional sign painter? What is this, the Taj Mahal?


And what's a redemption arc without a little light Single White Female-ing the girl your ex was cheating on you with? YOU DON'T OWN FLOWERS LILA, YOU CAN'T COPYRIGHT FLOWERS.


"Frankly, I thought someone who isn't a raving lunatic was running the place. Nice to see you again!"


Things not going so well over in Calsburg, huh Jerry?

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