Every generation attempts to define itself against its precursors, finding its own unique heroes, fashion, music, and fads. However, the fact is that some elements remain eternal, discovered anew by every cycle of youth. Cultural stasis means that young people are endlessly rediscovering and repeating yesterday's hits, making reaction videos to old top 40 songs and overpaying for vintage t-shirts and vinyl LPs as the past is repackaged and sold again and again. Every generation thinks it discovered punk rock, every generation believes it has pioneered making out, and every generation has its own Thor comics. No, not the Marvel Comics Thor. The other Thor, the one from Canada.


That's Jon-Mikl Thor, the hard rock muscleman who pumped some iron, cut some records, toured the world, starred in films like "Zombie Nightmare" and "Rock And Roll Nightmare" and "The Intercessor: Another Rock And Roll Nightmare," and needless to say, was featured in a few comic books. This isn't the Thor comic story from the 1980s, but a Thor from an entirely new generation of small-publisher comics creatives, taking on the big guys armed only with the strength of fresh new ideas and bold new visions, at least as fresh as "hey, do you like Frank Frazetta barbarian illustrations?" can get.

Well, oil up your pecs, do your vocal warm up exercises, tune up that guitar, and let's get ready to rock!!


A thousand years from now, Manhattan is a frozen wasteland of glaciers and snow! But enough from the Miami Beach Tourism Board. Martian, Man Of Fire here has discovered something interesting inside this abandoned missile site. I think it's "fire."


It's Thor! He found Thor, frozen in ice and clad only in a leopard print banana hammock. You must release him, Martian, or we won't have much of a story here.


Thor was entombed in an apocalyptic time of demons and eternal warfare, what we can only assume included the last two or three election cycles. He's now been revived in a world filled with evil forces requiring hammering, hammering with what looks like your standard mallet from a plumbing supply catalog. Those things pack a wallop, believe me!


Farewell Thor! May the gods ride with you! No, I don't have a coat or a pair of pants or anything for you, sorry!


I just want to say at this juncture that I really like the artwork in this comic, Hoffman is nailing the inks here, we've seen so many awful black and white comics that it's a distinct pleasure to see one drawn clearly and competently by someone who knows what they're doing. And the Orcs agree!


Sweet song of battle, I sing thee! And for my first number, here's a tune I think you'll all enjoy! It's from my first album, the one with the Dobermans on the cover! Sing along if you know the words!


Jesus, vanquished subhumans, what did you eat?? Get me out of that mist!


So let's see, I need some names for these characters, what's on the TV, oh, it's a Green Acres rerun, what's on the turntable, it's a Pantera record. Done!


You will strike with the speed of one kind of animal while being pulled on a sled by some completely different animals. Sorry, animals is all we got to work with here.


I see where this story is going - Thor travels across the wasteland, Thor is observed, Thor is attacked, Thor reads the latest issue of Kerrang! the heavy metal magazine.


All it takes is one strike from a sword constructed with really inferior metalworking and the warrior women are yours to command! Let's hear it for lazy blacksmithing.


What's that? Amass a gigantic horde with which to drive out evil? Naw, thanks ladies, too much hassle, I'll just do it myself.


It's not often that we here at Stupid Comics get a comic that straight-up advocates genocide. Now get out there and eradicate those subhumans, everybody!


Bridge, raft, look for a ford, swing across on a vine... nah, Thor just jumps right in and hopes that Vikings pick up hitch-hikers.


Though you will live long and someday die, you are truly one of the immortals. I'll just let you chew on that one for a while.


Get drunk in a tavern, see the face of the Space Lord in your glass, start a bar fight! Just a normal weekend.


If you're sensing a pattern here of Thor getting into a scrape and then being conveniently saved by a convenient warrior pal, well, congratulations, your reading comprehension skills are working just fine.


I regret I cannot help you with your wound, as the ways of "winding a piece of cloth around an arm" are weird and strange to my robo-cyber-iceman form.


Wandering around the wasteland with nothing but some speedos and a hammer isn't really recommended by any reputable hiking or outdoors authorities. You can't always count on being found by fertility priestesses!


AW MAN THEY TOTALLY DID IT THERE, THEY WERE TOTALLY DOIN' IT!! And he got a magic amulet out of the deal too! Hang onto that amulet, it might come in handy when defeating the evil sorceress, and also as evidence when you're telling your buddies how you totally got lucky!


Speaking of Pantera the evil sorceress, here she is enjoying the film "Beastmaster" on her widescreen pool-TV.


This doesn't say "sexy pose" so much as it says "lady parts medical exam."


Crack'd? The Enchant'd Ham'r- CRACK'D? Hast thou naught the EXTEND'D WARRANT'Y?


He will face an army the likes of which he has never seen! Because I'm pretty sure he was keeping his eyes closed every other time he fought these same subhuman orc-dwarf-troll people!


Those backard sub-men and their foolish notions of standing up to Thor and his still-mighty mallet. Bork to you, you backard sub-men! Bork, I say!


Pantera has an ace up her lack of sleeves - a fearsome super-giant!! Well heck, this is gonna be one titanic struggle between two amazing mythic warriors, sure to shake the very foundations of Earth and Heaven combined!


Nope, just a bonk on the noggin and it's lights out for Mister Giant. Oh well.


She's insulting his hammer? Impugning his memory? Maybe now's the time that magic fertility priestess amulet to come into play! Fertility amulet time, Thor!


Go ahead and kiss her, she's just applied cherry-flavored lip balm. Just be careful to not trip and fall into the TV pool!


Aw, look, they turned into little animals! That one turned into a cute little bunny! Awww.


How to end this brutal, thrill-packed saga of an unfrozen thunder god wreaking havoc in a world filled with monsters and magic? Naptime, that's how. If only he'd used that amulet! But for now Thor sleeps, waiting only for the next generation of hard rock barbarian comic artists to bring forth their own rock and roll nightmares. Get rockin', kids!

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