Okay gals! You did it - you landed that boyfriend! No more sitting by the telephone waiting for an invite to the sock hop or the weenie roast - you're dated up for the foreseeable future. But now you face an even greater challenge- how do you keep him once you've got him? How do you hang onto your man and never ever let go? Well, comics can help!


Sure, sure. EVERYBODY loves Ricky Wilson, the guitarist for the B-52s who tragically passed away in 1985. But this is about another Ricky Wilson, a car-crazy teener from a time when teenagers looked like miniature adults and acted like anything that came between them and their personal Ricky Wilsons - whether human or automotive - required nothing less than total destruction!


The way Janice sees it, whatever your man is into, you'd better get into it too, or you'll find yourself with plenty of free time to focus on your own interests and entertainments, becoming perhaps more fully rounded as a person, able to make your own way in the world! And that would be just awful.


See, I don't think this is a Peg problem, I think this is a Ricky problem. Sane people don't choose Turtle Wax over movie popcorn!


Every time Peg needs some recognizable touch of reality, she digs through her giant collection of photos that document every moment of her life over the past few months, which, in the days before digital cameras, is actually kind of impressive. Maybe Ricky is venting to *his* pals about how much time Peg spends in the darkroom developing selfies!


They say Jack Kirby could pencil thirty or forty pages a month, and when a lot of the panels are just some eyes and hair and the blank cover of a photo album, I can believe it! Of course who knows what these actually looked like before Vince Colletta started inking with his particular, let's say "subtractive" style.


"I guess I'll never forgive the gang for the other photos in this series, and the blackmail we had to pay to prevent their release to our parents and the community at large. That wacky gang of ours!"


For her own happiness Peg must now sacrifice her own... happiness? Is that how this works?


The next day Peg is all smiles, ready and willing to help Ricky "clean the creampuff!" And then, after they finish whatever intimate act this is a slang term for, they'll work on the car!


Listen gals, if anyone ever hears you say "And that tachometer is the most!" they're going to be too concerned about your mental health to even think about kissing you goodnight.


In the days that followed, Peg became a creepy weirdo.


How did it happen? You became a creepy weirdo, Peg. That's what happened.


Burning with uncontrollable rage, Peg hurls epithets like "stupid" in the direction of Ricky and his sports car and his date with Peg's former friend Janice! Whoa there Peg, let's not get too extreme.


Peg has had enough of Car Talk! She's sick of Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers, of their Dodge Dart fixation, of the whole automotive call-in show thing! Maybe some records on the juke box will kill time until All Things Considered comes on!

(NPR references, gang. Work with me here.)


Of course! This was all Janice's plan, to get Peg to bore Rick with car talk so Rick would want to run into the arms of anyone in a skirt who didn't talk about cars - which is Janice!


Here's one situation where you can't fake it 'til you make it, gals - those boys are sharp and they can tell when you're only pretending to be interested in cars or football or the stock market. So don't even try. Just be yourself! As long as it's feminine! And as long as your interests don't threaten his masculinity, of course. God forbid you actually LIKE cars.

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