At one point in our history, people found it extremely difficult to "say no to drugs." This led to an entire cottage industry of books, pamphlets, TV specials, musicals, and media of all kinds, specifically designed to assist in the pronunciation and enunciation of one of the simpler words in the English language. Of course, for your all-out language-based assault on narcotics, you're going to want the top experts of Major League Baseball, and so America's ballplayers were called in to lend a hand through the most powerful media possible - coloring books.


And due to a recent court ruling, coloring books have been deemed acceptable for our purposes here at Stupid Comics. So grab them crayons and let's go!


These kids are doing it! Doing what? Judging by the popped collar and the cigarettes on Rizzo here, my guess is they're staging an unauthorized production of "Grease."


What's the "it" these teens are doing, Kansas City relief pitcher Dan Quisenberry? Why, they're committing the heinous crime of consuming BEER while NOT at a ball game! Don't they know the only correct place to drink beer is when it's in a plastic cup, while seated in uncomfortable bleacher seats, and at a cost of six bucks each?


And now the tobacco companies are asking you to come to flavor country. Is there no end to the blandishments hurled towards America's youth?


The text claims these kids are wondering about drugs and alcohol, but the body language says "Do these jeans make my ass look huge?"


You don't have to have giant stone letters spelling NO to say "no" to drugs, but it sure helps!


If you do happen to one day need drugs, they'll be given to you by your doctor or your parents, who will dispense these pharmaceuticals on the healthy, scientific basis of "whatever generics the insurance will cover" and "some samples the pharma company rep gave us a big pile of."


Don't take drugs from anyone else - not even your friendly babysitter with the weirdly elongated torso!


Let's see, do I want to be laughed at because I won't take drugs? Or should I take drugs and get so baked I won't care if people laugh at me or not? This is hard!


Drugs can hurt both your mind and body in frightening ways. For instance, in extreme cases, drugs could delude you into thinking that you didn't want to play baseball, a terrifying condition completely at odds with normal human behavior.


Just think how terrible memory loss could be, says Red Sox lefty hitter Wade Boggs, who should know, because he once drank such an astonishing amount of beer during a cross country flight that even he can't keep track of how many beers it was.


Here they come
walking down the street
extolling recreational drug use
to everyone they meet!


When you're afraid, talk to someone who understands, especially someone like Vance Law, who understands what it's like to be traded to the Cubs, you think YOU got problems?


Talk to the person who bought you this book! Ask them why of all people Brett Butler is giving out advice on how to stay away from drugs! If there's anyone who wrecked their TV career with drugs, it's Brett Butl--- oh, Brett Butler the BALLPLAYER, not Brett Butler the actress. Is it my fault these people have confusing names?


Said no to drugs? Said "hell yes" to drugs? It's the same picture!


Here are those guys again! Hey kid, don't you have a baseball bat? Start crackin' some kneecaps, I guarantee they won't bother you any more!


These kids in this coloring book have already experienced about four times as much pressure to do drugs than I EVER did in middle school, high school, college, and countless concerts and festivals all put together! Trust me on this one, people generally don't care if you do drugs or not. Now, alcohol? Just go out ONE TIME and say "Nothing for me tonight, thanks" and watch people flip the hell out!


Some good advice from former Blue Jays catcher Buck Martinez, who once had his leg broken by a runner and still managed to tag the next runner out! Which has nothing to do with drug abuse, but is still pretty amazing.


Just keep saying NO over and over and over again! Eventually they'll stop making you go to Sunday school.


Stay away from the places those drug-and-alcohol-and-smokes promoting teens hang out. Unless it's the baseball stadium, of course.


Make the right choice to make a big banner telling everyone it's OK to make the right choice to proudly make a big banner that tells everyone it's OK to make the right choice to be proud to say OK drugs right proud choice make be. No!

Become a Patron! Hey gang, thanks for reading Mister Kitty's Stupid Comics! If you enjoyed it and want to show your appreciation, you can now become a patron by hitting that Patreon button above! Or, you can hit that PayPal button on our home page, or turn off your ad blocker so's our advertisers know you're out there! And remember to visit our YouTube channel, our Facebook group and our Instagram? Why don't you.

PREVIOUS STUPID COMICS
NEXT STUPID COMICS

BACK TO STUPID COMICS INDEX



BACK TO MAIN INDEX