Who knows the mysteries of the human heart? What authority can claim ultimate knowledge of the bonds that tie two people together, of the emotional storms that all relationships must weather? To whom should we turn for wisdom in coming to grips with the secrets of love and marriage?


Comic books, duh. Only comics have the all-seeing omniscience to deliver fundamental truths about the human condition. That's why when Kathy here marries her boss, an older and wealthier man, we can be sure all her dreams have come true. Or have they?


Anything you want, my sweet. What's that? Your own credit card? Sorry, nothing I can do.


Nothing as perfect as Kathy can ever be spoiled, but Lance is sure gonna try!


This is 1960's way of saying this is a transactional relationship.


He's a zillionaire, he gives her anything she wants, and then he gets the heck out of there for long stretches of time! Is Lance the perfect husband or what?


Staring at nothing while watching the paint dry inside a big empty house? What's not to be completely happy about?


"Go to that party and have fun, dear. Not as much fun as I plan on having in Detroit, though. Wait, forget that last part. Detroit? Ugh!"


Claire didn't tell him the lady was so lovely! The lady over there on the other side of the room, he means. You? You're OK, I guess.


There was something mysterious that drew Kathy and Peter together! Something named Claire, the person that introduced them to each other.


Could it be Kathy was fascinated by talking to someone her own age for once? Or does she really enjoy telling people "I have my OWN automobile, thank you very much!"


Kathy is troubled and confused by feelings that exist outside the comfortable confines of middle class American morals. Congratulations, you're ready for the next decade!


She always loved it when Lance came back from trips, he'd bring her toys and games and candy and... how old is she supposed to be again?


Surely in her life she's seen people younger than her husband? Was Peter there the first time she'd met a boy her own age? Was she raised in a Skinner box? Maybe she's really a robot? Is Lance really a genius scientist who built an android wife so perfect she doesn't know she's an android? Is this really a Twilight Zone episode, is that the twist ending?


No. The twist is that Peter is actually Lance's adult son, who spent an entire evening hitting on someone he may or may not known was his own stepmom, even though Bill or maybe Ted was right there saying "dude, your mom's hot!"


Yup, Lance was married before, married enough to have a grown son, and yet not married enough to tell his new wife that he was married before. Because being married before would "make him seem so old" whereas now, by keeping this a secret, it "makes him seem like a manipulative, fraudulent, distrusting creep."


And that's why Kathy was attracted to Peter, not because he was this virile young hunk of go-getting young manhood, but because he kind of reminded her of Lance. Maybe Peter should have been at their wedding and they could have gotten this out of the way early? No?


Wait a minute, Lance here has a secret family he kept hidden, but KATHY is who's lacking something?? Whatever, Charlton.


Yes, in that moment Kathy submitted totally to the will of a conniving zillionaire who's already proven his lack of trust and his ability to withhold important information. I'm sure the rest of your marriage will be exactly as terrific as Lance wishes it to be, Kathy! See you in therapy or divorce court, whichever comes first!

And as we leave one impending disaster, let's not forget all the people out there who don't yet have a sweetheart, but are knocking themselves out trying to get one.


That's putting him on ice, sis - knocking him senseless with one swipe from your steel-reinforced foundation garment! Don't worry Dan, just smear some Colgate on those teeth and watch romance bloom. Remember, Colgate will not stain or discolor, which only makes me wonder, was that a thing toothpastes were doing before Colgate? Good luck out there, everybody!

Become a Patron! Hey gang, thanks for reading Mister Kitty's Stupid Comics! If you enjoyed it and want to show your appreciation, you can now become a patron by hitting that Patreon button above! Or, you can hit that PayPal button on our home page, or turn off your ad blocker so's our advertisers know you're out there! And remember to visit our YouTube channel, our Facebook group and our Instagram? Why don't you.

PREVIOUS STUPID COMICS
NEXT STUPID COMICS

BACK TO STUPID COMICS INDEX



BACK TO MAIN INDEX