Whether they're known as intelligence operatives, secret agents, or just plain spies, these undercover workers need secrecy. Agents must be able to move through society without attracting attention in order to complete their clandestine tasks, and in both action and appearance must always be careful to present an unremarkable face to the outside world. Of course, sometimes they wear a bright red suit with a little cap, and they just come right out and call themselves "Spyman."
Do you have the proper security clearance to access these top secret adventures? Are you wearing your helmet clearly marked US SPY CORPS to let everyone know what an important spy you are? Has your incredible electro-robot hand been equipped with new secret spy powers? Then let's begin!
Resisting the orders of Cyclops, it seems at least one reader refrained from mutilating their precious Spyman comic book, thereby depriving the Evil Eye Society of at least one paper-sticker-third-eye-wearing recruit. Thank you for your service, brave reader!
But wait! Don't paste that eyeball to your forehead yet! Spyman himself is here to introduce this thrill-packed adventure, which begins right after this message from our sponsor.
YOUR OWN MONEY. Yes, you'll be sending it to the Young Businessmen Of America at some point in this scam involving what appears to be a fake "Grit" type newspaper and a dad from the 1940s. You might also have to send them your bikes, radios, and camping gear. We aren't sure. And now, on with our story!
Looking for suspense? Mystery? Excitement? Well, sorry, this is a Harvey comic, they don't do that stuff any more. Instead here's one of their Harvey Thrillers comics, their ill-fated attempt to cash in on the "super hero" craze of the mid 60s, the "spy" craze of the mid 60s, and the "Q The Winged Serpent" craze of the early 1980s. Fun fact, this Harvey experiment was the first comics work of Jim Steranko, who, in spite of what we see here, would go on to a successful career in the graphic arts.
Johnathan Chance, aka Spyman, can't even enjoy the World's Fair without having to deflect bullets with his fantastic electro-robot appendage. Remember, wait until you hear the sound of gunfire and then reveal your robot hand. That fake skin isn't cheap!
All the top espionage agents agree, nothing says "secret intelligence operative" like a well-known celebrity in a bright red costume.
Unsafe rifle trigger housing design, lack of automatic crane shutdown, unmarked and unsecured construction areas...there's a lot of blame to go around for this situation.
All we ever hear about is how amazing this electro-robot hand is, but here all its high-tech wizardry is meaningless because it's also a convenient lump of metal.
Top secret agent Spyman is equipped with all manner of amazing scientific devices used in his battle against evil. Everything except a radio. He doesn't have one of those.
Need a headquarters for your top secret counter espionage agency, away from prying eyes and the scrutiny of the public? Just use one of the most photographed statues in the entire world, seen by millions of people on a daily basis. We're pretty sure you can't get more secret than that.
This paper eye sticker is a symbol not only of the discerning intellectual readership of "Spyman," but of a reader possessed of such powerful motivation that he, or she, would actually take a pair of scissors to his or her precious comic book!
Meanwhile, a strange and sinister gathering of evildoers willing to undertake any and all underhanded or devious tasks in the name of profit takes place. And, in the room next door to the multi-level marketing representives convention, Cyclops and his gang are *also* having a meeting.
What's more amazing, the eyeball-themed death ray of Cyclops, or how his fingernails seem to be showing through his gloves?
Sure, Spyman's old hand lacked versatility. But really, how versatile do you need a steel hand to be if all you're going to use it for is to jam it into some gears?
And soon Spyman's equipped with an even more fantastic electro-robot hand, capable of coping with any kind of emergency, for instance, the emergency of something not being on fire, he can solve that problem all right.
Maybe some people just like to walk around with photos of ancient Aztec temples inside their belts, did they ever think of that?
I was just thinking that this top secret counter espionage agency really needed a giant hand-shaped helicopter to make sure the world really sits up and takes notice of all their clandestine classified secret-agent work.
The villagers of rural Mexico have long believed legends that one day a giant hand will come from the sky, and out of that hand will come one who calls himself "spy" but who does no actual "spying."
Spyman doesn't want to hurt those peasants. That's why his supersonic shock waves will only deafen them a teentsy tiny bit.
This story promised us Quetzalcoatl, and by the sacred name of Itztlacoliuhqui-Ixquimilli, it delivered!
Unless I'm mistaken, the act of riding the serpent-god automatically makes Spyman the ruler of the Triple Alliance of Tenochtitlan, Texcoco, and Tlacopan!
(he is mistaken)
Look buddy, without the quivering, freshly harvested organs of your sacrificial victims, all the exhorting in the world won't do you any good.
I don't want to get into a big semantics argument here with Spyman, but this thing he's riding on that he can physically touch, it exists in reality, it is absolutely "for real."
Fun fact, this is also how you deal with annoying drones buzzing your house!
And there's your monster, and there's the body of the person I killed when I flew the monster into him, I'm Spyman, but you can just call me Murderin' Guy, because that seems to be what I do
In short, the Evil Eye Society went through all the trouble and expense to design and construct a working, flying, giant robot Quetzalcoatl. They then installed it and a fake Aztec priest in an ancient historical site in southern Mexico, merely because there was a chance that their assassin in New York would fail, and that somebody would find the photo of the temple hidden in a belt. Just a stunning amount of work for a string of maybes. Think about your ROI, Evil Eye Society!
Also: "Mayan" and "Aztec" are not the same thing at all.
Meanwhile in the same time zone but also somehow at night - I'll let you chew on that one for a minute - the forces of "Liberty" are hard at work protecting a nuclear weapon the size of a jawbreaker and the guy who invented it. I feel safer already!
Somehow the Evil Eye Society learned where this top secret counter espionage organization has its headquarters! And somehow they climbed up the outside of the statue, without being seen by National Park rangers or commuters on the Staten Island Ferry. And somehow Cyclops manages to throw a smoke bomb in such a fashion that it curves in the air and lands on top of the platform he's under. With pitching skills like that, he should be playing for the Yankees instead of some eyeball themed crime gang!
What's that, artist Dick Ayers? Want to wrap this story up fast without a lot of drawing? Fine, here's some big clouds of smoke and a giant white sheet of secret plans. You're welcome.
But just when all seems lost, here comes Spyman, using his amazing fantastic cyber-electro robot hand in its most thrilling capacity, namely, letting things bounce off it.
And that's it, that's the story, pages and pages of Aztec robot monsters and new robot hands and pasted-on eyeball stickers, and it all ends in two panels because somebody falls down. The end. Remember to thank the next brightly costumed spy you see on the street for all his tireless work defending America from eyeballs and Aztecs!
Become a Patron!
Hey gang, thanks for reading Mister Kitty's Stupid Comics! If you enjoyed it and want to show your appreciation, you can now become a patron by hitting that Patreon button above! Or, you can turn off your ad blocker so's our advertisers know you're out there! And remember to visit our YouTube channel, our Facebook group and our Instagram? Why don't you.
PREVIOUS STUPID COMICS
BACK TO STUPID COMICS INDEX
BACK TO MAIN INDEX