Ghosts! They are all around us, haunting and spooking and causing trouble. Nobody knows why these disembodied spirits continue to drift about our mortal plane, but throughout the years intrepid seekers have sought to seek out these spectres and find out what their whole deal is. Here's an absolutely true story of one of those investigations!


Brought to you by Ripley's, the wax museum aquarium people, here's the "true" tale of two Georgian-era gentlemen Ghostbusters answering the call of supernatural research, and maybe some wax museums.


"Reading notes on horseback" was the "texting while driving" of 1797! Please keep your eyes on the road or you might crash, perhaps even into the extremely large sign indicating the local mayor's house.


East Barnet's Mayor Mark E. Smith of the long running UK musical act The Fall welcomes them to his home in an uncharacteristic act of hospitality. You see, Smith had this vocal affectation where he'd end lyrics with "ah" sounds, whether they needed to be there or not. He also fired band members seemingly at random - he once fired a sound engineer for eating a salad - so gentlemen, beware!


Every month, for reasons no one can explain, East Barnet is visited by an ancient relic. Kind of like how Readers Digest keeps showing up in your parents' mailbox.


Why, they're actually proud of having a ghost! It's not like East Barnet doesn't have a whole list of other amazing things to be proud of! Things like... like...


Thrill to exciting ghost-hunting action as two English fops discuss the inherent flaws of late 18th century timekeeping devices!


Well there it is, that ghost that's appeared monthly for the past six hundred years, that's him all right. Where does he go? Nobody in East Barnet knows, nobody in the past six hundred years has bothered to find out. To be fair, they had their hands full with Black Deaths, civil wars, Reformations, and lots and lots of wars with France.


Legally the townspeople are only allowed to chase ghosts up to the city limits. Cross that line and the ghost is home free! It's kind of like how Americans used to be able to rob banks in one state and get away with it by crossing into another state, until the FBI showed up to ruin everybody's fun.


Being intelligent men of The Enlightenment, our intrepid 'ghost breakers' reject the superstitions of the past and take the innovative and highly scientific approach of "following the thing to see where it goes."


Gentlemen, you are about to enter the most fascinating sphere of ghost research work. Watching ghosts make out!


I can't decide between describing what they're doing as "ghostblocking" or "ghostus interruptus." I'm gonna go with "ghostus interruptus."


These two dopes have stumbled across the culmination of a lengthy ghost courtship, halting what might be the creation of any number of ghost progeny, perhaps depriving this world of untold Casper the Friendly Ghosts. For shame!


It took but one careless moment to wreck East Barnet's ghost legend and undo six centuries of ghost dates. Think about this the next time you decide to go ghost-hunting - if that farmyard is ghost-rockin', don't you go ghost-knockin'! Believe it - or not.

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