Tonight's story is all about Pam, who confuses being a doormat with being a "good sport". It is an important reminder to all of us about not being too generous with your time and energy. Well, not for me, I'm a selfish piece of shit, but you might find it helpful.


Pam is in a constant state of inner anguish because she knows any time there's an important job to do, her lazy ass classmates will elect her for it.


Have you heard of "learned helplessness"? Pam's classmates sure have, and boy does it work.


Protip, Pam: Next time, stand up before anyone else has a chance and nominate someone else, anyone else. It might not sway the rest of the class but it'd take a little air out of their lungs!

Man, looking more closely at her classmates... maybe they really ARE that dumb and helpless.


Another protip: If they want you in charge so bad, learn to delegate. Make up a bunch of committees and enlist your classmates without asking. Sure, they'll screw everything up, but is that really worse than what you've got going now?


Jeff's been looking forward to meeting Pam all day, now he has someone to wax his kitchen floor and regrout his bathroom.


uh, yeah, hell nah


I dunno, low self-esteem, probably.


No idea what could be the source of her crushingly low self-esteem!


Go easy on Pam's parents; it must be tough being in your 80s and having to raise your 17 or 18 year old daughter.


Sure, Angie, I'll help you cheat on your algebra homework, want me to suck Jim's dick for you too?


Well, you know Marge needs help with housework, what with that lazy slob of a husband and three bratty kids.


One more protip: A heavy dose of those "special pills" from your mom's medicine cabinet into the punch bowl can work wonders.


Jeff, being the new guy, has apparently not lost the part of his brain that allows him to read the emotions of other people, unlike the rest of the people in this town.


You can hardly blame Pam for throwing herself at him; she's finally met someone who can carry on more than two lines of conversation without asking her to co-sign a car loan for them.


She's taking the news that her friends have been playing her for a chump all this time pretty well, actually.


At this point I'm not sure Pam is a doormat so much as she just does whatever the last person who talked to her tells her to do.


It's sad that Pam only needed the slightest encouragement to stop being a doormat but it can be pretty powerful when you finally meet one person who validates you.

That said, thanks to the tear in the page, we can only guess as to what Pam is as happy as... a pillow in a windstorm?


So... her plan was to just not say anything to Edna until the day-of, then leave a quick message with her mom? When Pam puts her mind to it, she can passive-aggressive with the best of them!


It's surprising how quickly Pam found her backbone, but then again, Edna is clearly in her mid 40s so she can take it like an adult.


Yeah, go ahead, whatever. Aren't you all graduating high school in like a week? Who cares.


Oh, sure, the crowd is happy to see you having fun NOW, just wait til they find out Pam's not gonna help THEIR asses out either!

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